Passion in Prison
by Cora Summers
Summary: Three years after Nikki's release. Nikki never followed Helen out of the club. They meet again three years later. Will the old feelings resurface? or will they forever regret the decisions of their past? Warning: Femslash. Don't Like Don't read


The Characters and some of the dialogue in this story are the property of Shed Productions.

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Passion in Prison

Three years.

It had been three years to the day since Nikki Wade let Helen walk out of that club. Since then there wasn't a day that passed that she didn't think about that day and every night she dreamed about how it could have gone differently.

There were the dreams that ended with Helen telling Nikki that she wanted to make another go of things. The ones where she told Nikki that she wanted absolutely nothing to do with her after that day. Still others where they at least agreed to stay in each other's lives as friends.

But, because she had waited to go after her, waited to take a risk and see where it would take her, Nikki had lost Helen forever. By the time she had listened to her heart, not her head, and ran out of the club to go after her, it was too late. Helen was gone.

Nikki decided that there really was no use dwelling on the past. It was already 4:00 pm and she had to get the club ready to open at 8:00 pm.

Meanwhile, across town, Helen Stewart was staring out the window of her new office. Every once in a while she would think about that one night. The night Nikki risked everything to break out just so she could talk to Helen and make sure that they were ok. It always made her ask herself so many questions. Did she do the right thing by taking Nikki back to Larkhall? Should they have risked it and gone to San Francisco to be together? Would they still have been together if they had?

Although she knew she shouldn't, she couldn't help but think back. Back to before Caroline and Thomas, before the riot. Back to the last time she was truly happy.

But then, as if in some fit of self deprecation, the day of Nikki's appeal came surging to the front of her mind. How she saw the speech Nikki gave on television. How she found out where she could find Nikki and went looking for her at the club. And the most painful part, how she waited outside the club, debating whether or not she should go back in and tell Nikki how she felt. After assuming that Nikki was back with Trish, she left knowing that she had lost the only person she had ever really loved.

After a few more minutes of being trapped in the past, Helen thought it was time to call it a day. It was 4:30 pm, Friday, and she had plans. One of her best friends, Lisa, was celebrating her fifth anniversary with her partner Jane, and they were going to one of the most popular clubs across town.

Later that Night:

Even for a Friday night it was busy. So busy that Nikki had to call Trisha in for some extra help and she had still been trapped behind the bar for the past two hours. She hadn't even noticed the group of stunningly attractive women enter the club, which included the presence of a green eyed, dark blonde haired Scot.

After another few moments the bar crowd died down. Nikki then turned to Trisha.

"I'm going to walk around and see if I can help collect any of the empties." Nikki said.

"Good. I think we're running low." Trish replied.

Nikki walked out from behind the bar and decided she had better start in the back and work her way forward. What she saw when she there was the last thing she had ever expected to see again.

Helen Stewart.

Sitting here in her club, with a small group of friends. One of them she recognized as her friend Claire, who also happened to be her solicitor during her appeal. The other two women she didn't recognize. Just then Nikki couldn't help but feel a small twinge of jealousy. _"Could one of those women be her partner?"_ she thought to herself. But that thought was quickly pushed out of her mind as she saw the two unknown women kiss rather passionately.

As Nikki stood there, watching her, she couldn't resist taking in Helen's appearance. Her hair was still the same dark blonde, cut just above her shoulders, with one side tucked behind her ear, which had always made her look so cute. She was wearing a short sleeved, white, button down shirt and a nice pair of fitted jeans. _"Casual, but smart"_ Nikki thought.

She stood there staring while so many thoughts of what she should do kept running through her head. She had finally decided to go back to the bar when Helen looked up, as if she could feel eyes gazing at her. To say she was shocked would have been an understatement. _"So much for a graceful exit"_ Nikki thought. She couldn't very well walk away now that she had been caught staring. Instead she slowly made her way over to Helen's table, picking up a few of the empty glasses as she went. She still had no idea what she was going to do or say when she got there, but she couldn't bring herself to walk away.

She finally made it to Helen's table, their eyes never losing contact. Nikki stopped right next to Helen and slowly reached across the table to pick up an empty cup, her hand lightly grazing the side of Helen's. Helen almost jumped at the touch, still feeling the sense of electricity when ever Nikki touched her. Nikki, feeling the same thing, grabbed the cup, let her gaze linger a moment longer, and then made her way back towards the bar.

Helen prayed that her friends hadn't noticed what had taken place. She wasn't in the mood to explain what had just happened between the two of them. Lisa and Jane were busy talking with each other, but Claire, noticing Helen was a little flustered, gave her a confused look.

"I'll tell you later," Helen sighed.

Claire had a feeling that she already knew what she was going to hear.

At this time Lisa turned away from her conversation with Jane and looked at the now empty table.

"Well, ladies. It looks as though we all need more drinks. The usual for everyone?" she asked, starting to stand.

"Lisa, why don't you sit down?" Helen replied, "It's your anniversary. Let me get this round."

Before Lisa could answer, Helen stood up and made her way to the bar. _"How could I forget that this was her club?"_ Helen thought to herself. She was concentrating on the encounter that had happened only moments before when a pair of soulful dark brown pools came into focus, bringing her out of her reverie. _"God, she still looks good." _Helen thought.

Nikki was wearing a black Armani suit with a white Armani shirt, unbuttoned at the top, underneath. Her hair was exactly the way Helen remembered, styled as though she had just gotten out of bed.

Nikki slowly made her way over to where Helen was standing, not sure if she was ready for this encounter to take place.

"Hiya, Nikki."

"What can I get for you, Helen?"

Helen gave her the drink orders. She debated whether or not she should say the next thing on her mind, but Nikki beat her to it.

"We should meet of for lunch or something sometime. You know, to catch up." Nikki said, continuing her penetrating eye contact with Helen.

Before Helen replied, she let out a sigh of relief, now knowing that she wasn't the only one who wanted to talk.

"Yeah, that sounds good. Give me a call later this week and we can set something up." Then without thinking she added "the number hasn't changed." Helen paid for her drinks, smiled at Nikki, and then disappeared into the crowd.

That smile still had such an effect on her. With the tongue slightly parting the teeth, Nikki's knees went weak and she was glad that she had the bar to support herself on so that nobody noticed.

The night ended without any further interaction between the two women. Both secretly feeling like they were being avoided, but not putting much thought into it as they were avoiding the other.

The bar closed and Helen and her friends made their way to the exit.

"Do you two want to share a cab with us, or are you ok to make it home on your own?" Jane asked Helen and Claire.

Before Helen even had time to think of a response, Claire had already answered the question.

"No, you two go ahead. My friend and I have to talk." She smiled at Helen.

Jane and Lisa said good night, got into the cab, and headed home. Helen and Claire started out on a leisurely walk towards their respective flats.

"O.k. Stewart. Spill it. What was that back there between you and Nikki?"

At first Helen was surprised that Claire knew who the other woman was, but then she remembered that Claire had been Nikki's solicitor during her appeal process.

"If I tell you Claire, you have to promise to let me tell you without interruption. Deal?"

"Deal." Claire replied excitedly.

Helen started from the beginning. How she tried to gain an ally in Nikki while she was wing governor at Larkhall. She explained how her feelings kept sliding further and further away from friendship and closer to love, no matter how much she wanted to deny it.

When she finished, Helen just looked at Claire, waiting for a response.

"She's the reason you left Larkhall, isn't she?" Claire asked.

"I had to. If anyone had found out about us, or the night she escaped, she would still be in there and I loved her too much to let that happen." Helen explained.

"What about now? Do you still love her?"

"I thought that I was finally starting to get over her, but after seeing her tonight I realized that my feelings for her are stronger than ever."

Claire looked at her in disbelief. "Stewart, you amaze me." She replied, "not only did you fall for a woman, but the relationship started while she was a prisoner in your care. So what happens now? Are you going to see if you can make it work?"

"I don't know." Helen sighed, "We are meeting for lunch sometime this week to catch up. If worse comes to worse we can always just be friends."

"But would you be happy with that?"

"Claire, I would rather have Nikki in my life as a friend, then not have her in my life at all."

"Helen, do you mind if I ask you one more thing?"

"After everything that I have told you, I'd be surprised if you didn't have any questions."

"Exactly how long have you had feelings for Nikki?" Claire asked.

"Since before I broke up with Sean." Helen replied shyly.

"You mean that you have known that you were a lesbian for almost six years and you didn't tell me?" Claire exclaimed.

"First of all Claire, you know how much I hate labels. I just fell in love and it happened to be with a woman. That doesn't mean it requires a label."

"Newsflash Helen: being in love with a woman does make you gay." Claire interrupted.

"Yeah, I know that, but it doesn't it needs to be labeled like it's abnormal or something. Anyway, I didn't tell you because I wasn't sure how you would react."

"Helen you're my best friend. There is no way that I would want to change that because of the gender of the love of your life." Claire explained.

"I know that, but not everyone is ok with stuff like that."

"Helen, you never have to worry about that. I promise. Besides, you can't get rid of me that easily." She laughed.

By this time they had reached Claire's flat and they said good night. Helen continued on her way, continuously replaying the night's events.

When Helen had reached her flat she was slightly relieved to be home. Even though it was so late, she pushed the play button on the answering machine, mostly out of habit.

"_You have five new messages."_ The monotone voice announced to the room.

The first was from Dominic McAllister, a long time friend of hers who recently moved back to London with his new wife. He wanted to know if she had a book that could borrow, the title currently escaping his mind, but hoping she would know what it was from the description.

The next message was from her father. First he wanted to know about how the new job was going, and then asked if there were any special women in her life. Helen was surprised how quickly he had accepted the fact that his daughter was a lesbian when she had told him 

about it almost four years ago when she realized that she was head over heels in love with Nikki Wade.

The third message was from her new boss. Helen didn't really want to hear it, but knew that it could be important. All he had to say was that she would need to take a look at a few things when she got to the office on Monday.

The next message was from her sister, just calling to catch up.

As Helen was heading into the kitchen to grab a glass of water, the second most unexpected thing happened that night.

"_Hi Helen. It's Nikki. I know it may seem like short notice, but how about joining me for lunch Saturday, or I guess later today. There's a nice place down from the club. If you want we can meet outside the club around 1:00 and walk down. Anyway, I should be awake for a little while longer, so if you're up to it when get in, give me a call."_

Helen went to check the time of the message. She wasn't entirely surprised that it was left only a few minutes before she got home. Debating whether or not it was too late, she picked her phone and dialed Nikki's number. After the third ring, she answered.

"Hello?" Nikki answered, slightly confused.

"Hiya Nikki. It's Helen."

"Helen, hi. I'm guessing you got my message?" Nikki asked nervously.

"Yeah, I did. I was just calling to tell you that 1:00 sounds great."

Helen couldn't be sure, but she thought she heard an awkward sigh of relief come from the other end of the line.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Yeah, see ya Nikki."

Nikki couldn't believe the effect that the sexy Scottish voice still had on her. Even after three years she still felt her stomach do flip flops just hearing Helen's voice. She thought she had been taking a huge risk, calling Helen as soon as she did, but now she was relieved that she had. She knew that they probably wouldn't be able to become romantically involved again, but at least there was still a chance to remain friends. As far as Nikki was concerned, any relationship with Helen Stewart was better than no relationship at all.

When Helen woke up the next morning, she was surprised at how nervous she was feeling. She couldn't think of what her problem was. After all, it was only lunch.

Nikki too had an anxious feeling running through her when she woke up just after 10:00. She finally attributed it to the fact that she was seeing the love of her life for the second time in a span of less than twenty-four hours after three years. She reminded herself that it was just lunch, and proceeded to get ready.

Around ten to 1:00 and nervous as hell, Nikki decided to head down to the club, looking casual but smart in jeans and a nice blue button down shirt, with a few buttons open at the top. Having moved out of Trisha's flat when she was released, Nikki moved into the flat above the club. This way there was no real rush when she had to work.

Having watched her arrival to Larkhall for almost three years, Nikki knew that Helen would most likely be a few minutes late. Because she was more than a little nervous, and because she wanted to kill some time, she decided to spot check a few things in the club. When she opened the door that lead into the club, she couldn't believe what she saw. Helen was already there, looking around. Helen noticed Nikki standing there and made her way over.

"Hiya, Nikki." She said with that familiar tongue-behind-teeth smile. "I was a little early so I decided to come in and look around, without the crowds. I hope that's ok?"

"No, it's fine. I just wasn't expecting you to be early." Nikki replied, "To be honest, I thought you were going to be a little late."

For a minute Helen looked confused. "Why would you think that?" She asked.

"Helen, I watched you arrive at Larkhall for three years and I bet I can count the times you got to work on time on one hand." Nikki said with a grin.

"Well, I'm here now, on time, as promised. So, are you ready to go?"

"Yeah, I just have to go grab my jacket from the office. Be right back."

Helen watched as Nikki made her way to the back of the club. Nikki could feel Helen's eyes on her and suddenly felt a little self-conscious. _"Even though this is just lunch, I still think she looks amazing,"_ both women thought to themselves.

A few minutes later, Nikki returned with her jacket, ready to go. An awkward silence fell over them as they made their way out the door and down the street. Helen couldn't believe how nervous she was about all of this and was surprised that Nikki couldn't see her shaking.

They arrived at the restaurant with barely a word spoken to each other and Nikki was beginning to wonder how they were going to get through lunch if they couldn't even bring themselves to talk about the weather.

They entered the restaurant, were shown to their table, and ordered their starters. They just looked at each other, both knowing they had to talk eventually, and both not knowing where to start. Finally, Helen broke the silence.

"So Nikki, how have you been?"

"As good as to be expected, I suppose. The Club is doing well and it keeps me busy." She replied, "What about you? How is the charming prison service these days?" Nikki asked with obvious sarcasm.

"Actually, I wouldn't know." Helen replied, noticing the shocked look on Nikki's face. "When I left Larkhall, I also left the prison service altogether."

"So what do you do now?" Nikki asked.

Before Helen could answer, she heard her shouted from across the room. She looked up to see a familiar face and stood to give her a hug. Nikki, having also heard Helen's name, looked up and witnessed the exchange. Again she couldn't help but feel jealous.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were going to be in France until next week?" Helen asked the stranger.

"I came back early 'cause I missed you and everybody else." She replied. "I'm not interrupting anything am I?" She asked, turning to look at Nikki."

Helen turned with her, and couldn't know for sure, but she thought she saw a glint of jealousy in Nikki's eyes. Thinking it would be best to quickly take care of the situation, she decided to introduce the stranger.

"Sorry, Jen, this is Nikki. Nikki, this is my sister, Jen."

Nikki looked relieved, Jen looked shocked.

"You mean Nikki as in…" Jen started to ask, but Helen cut her off.

"Yeah. Do you mind if we talk later? It's just that Nikki and I have some catching up to do." Helen asked.

"No, of course. I will give you a call later tonight." Jen said, giving Helen a knowing smile.

Helen hugged her sister and she sat back down, Jen walked out.

"Why did she look at like that when she found out who I was?" Nikki couldn't help but ask.

"I told her about you, about us." Helen replied calmly.

"You did!?" No matter how hard she tried Nikki couldn't hide the surprise in her voice.

"Yeah, why not. It's nothing to be ashamed of." Helen replied with a smile. "Besides, I believe the unanswered question was 'what have I been doing since Larkhall?'"

Nikki didn't know what she was feeling. Shocked that Helen had told her family. Relieved that she had finally come to terms with her sexuality. If possible, even more nervous now that she knew Helen was ok and open with it.

"Well, when I left, I went back home for a while to get my head straight, no pun intended." She smiled coyly. "Anyway, while I was there, I told my family everything that had happened."

"Everything?" Nikki interrupted.

"Well everything except that you escaped from prison for a night to see me. But yes, they know that you were in prison." Helen smiled.

"Were they ok with that?" Nikki asked tentatively.

"My sister thought it was romantic, the way we met and all. My dad was another story." Helen sighed. "He thought I should have had more sense than to fall for a con, his words not mine, but I explained your case and in the end he agreed with me that you shouldn't have even been in there in the first place."

"So where have you been working?"

"Well for a while I kind of jumped from job to job until I was offered something I liked. Now I am working in a small publishing house across town." Helen stated matter-of-factly.

"You're an editor then?" Nikki asked, a little surprised by the revelation.

"Well, I thought with my love of books and my uncanny ability to find mistakes I would be good at it. So far, I love it."

Nikki couldn't believe it. Helen was like a completely new person. The fact that she had left the prison service and now worked with books seemed to make her even more beautiful, something that Nikki never thought possible.

The rest of the meal was spent reminiscing about the things that happened while they were at Larkhall. Both seemed to stay away from their relationship and questions that would lead to information about relationships since. Neither one realized how late it was getting until Nikki looked at her watch.

"Shit!" Nikki almost yelled.

"What's wrong?" Helen asked, a little surprised at the sudden outburst.

"I have to go. I'm working at the club tonight."

Helen then looked at her watch and couldn't believe that it was almost 6:00 pm.

"I had fun Helen. We should do this again sometime." Nikki said with a genuine smile.

"Well, how about we meet for dinner tomorrow night? I feel like we have barely talked. Three years is a lot to catch up on." Helen replied.

"Yeah sounds good. I'm free all day tomorrow. Why don't you leave all of the information on my answering machine? I figured I picked the place today, so you can pick tomorrow." Nikki told her.

As they were walking out of the restaurant, Helen thought for a minute. "Nikki, what if we have dinner at my house?" She asked apprehensively.

"Yeah, why not. Say 7:00?" Nikki asked.

"Perfect." Helen smiled.

By this time they had arrived back at the club and, not knowing what else to do, hugged and said good-bye until tomorrow, Nikki to go to work, Helen to go home and call her sister. Both looking forward to tomorrow.

"So how did it go?" Jen asked Helen even before she had said hello.

"Hello to you too." Helen laughed. "It went really well."

"Are you getting back together?"

"Jen, I don't even know if she is still interested or even single." Helen replied.

"What, you mean you didn't ask?"

"I was scared that she would say she's involved."

"Helen you won't know until you ask. When are you seeing her again?" Jen sounded as excited as Helen felt.

"Tomorrow. We are having dinner here."

"Promise me that you'll try and find out if she is available."

"Yeah, I'll try. Happy?"

"Yes, very." Jen replied. Helen could hear the smile in her voice.

"Hey, I have to go. Why don't we get together on Monday for lunch? You can tell me all about your trip and I will fill you in about dinner." Helen asked.

"Sounds perfect. See you Monday." Jen replied

"Yeah see you." Helen hung up and started to think about tomorrow.

Later that night, after _Chix _had closed, Nikki and Trisha were taking a breather in the office before going home. Trisha kept looking over at Nikki, thinking _"For someone who has just _

_spent eight hours on her feet, she looks incredibly happy about something." _Finally, curiosity got the better of her.

"Nikki, what's up with you tonight?"

"What do you mean?" Nikki asked.

"It's just that you look really happy about something." Trisha was starting to get anxious about the answer.

"Nothing too important." Nikki replied with a broad grin. Trisha knew something was up.

"Nikki, I have known you for over ten years and that face right there tells me that there is something up, so spill it Wade!" She demanded.

"Alright, alright." Nikki laughed. "You win. I had lunch with Helen Stewart today."

Trisha looked surprised. "Helen Stewart, as in the love of your life, as in the woman I told you to go after three years ago, but you didn't. That Helen Stewart?"

"Yes, that Helen Stewart." Nikki replied happily.

"So what happened? Are you finally going to get back together or is she seeing someone?"

That thought brought Nikki down off her cloud. "Well, we never really talked about current relationship status. I think we both kind of avoided it." Nikki replied calmly.

"So she has no idea that you're still available? When are you seeing her again? You have to find out if she is seeing anyone."

"Slow down Trish." Nikki couldn't help but laugh. "First, no she doesn't know that I am still available. Second, I am going to her place for dinner tomorrow. Third, I will try and think of a way to ask her if she is seeing someone."

"Good. Now that that is settled, we should get out of here. It's late and you have a big day tomorrow. You have to promise to call me when you get home to let me know how it went." Trisha smiled at her.

"Fine."

They both left the club. Trisha went home to her flat a few blocks away from and Nikki went to her flat just above it, her thoughts on Helen. Little did she know that the object of her thoughts was across town thinking about her. Both with the same idea on their minds. By the time the each got into their beds, they had decided that tomorrow night they were going to bring up the discussion about relationship status.

Helen woke up earlier than normal on Sunday Morning. If it was possible she was even more nervous today than she had been yesterday. She had been up late the night before, trying to think of a way to let Nikki know how she felt and find out if she was still interested. Finally, just before she dozed off, she realized the only possible answer.

Nikki once told Helen that she had difficulty expressing her feelings out loud, so she wrote it down for her. Helen never got the chance to tell Nikki that she had exactly the same problem. When she left Larkhall, she decided she couldn't keep her feelings bottled up anymore. Yes, telling her family had helped, but it wasn't enough. So, she started to write. She 

was surprised with how much she had to say. Eventually she decided to turn it into a book, even if it was never going to be published. It explained the events that happened between her and Nikki during Helen's three years at Larkhall. This gave her the chance to put more explanation into her actions, even if she was too scared to explain them at the time. The only difference between the real story and the written one was that Helen wrote the end as she wanted it to happen instead of how it really did.

Even though she was very nervous about it, she was going to let Nikki read it. If Nikki felt the same, then they could go from there. If not, at least Helen tried.

7:00 came and Helen was putting the finishing touches on diner when she heard the doorbell. As she went to answer door, her stomach was in knots because she was so nervous. She opened the door to find an incredibly gorgeous Nikki standing there, wearing one of her signature black Armani suits. Helen almost had to remind herself to breath.

"Hi, Nikki. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes." She opened the door a little wider to allow Nikki to come inside.

At first Nikki couldn't believe her eyes. Helen was wearing a beautiful green dress that showed just the right amount of cleavage and was doing amazing job of bringing out the color in her eyes. Eventually, Nikki made her way inside and Helen helped Nikki out of her coat.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Nikki offered, following Helen to the kitchen.

"Well, you can open this and poor us each a glass." She said, handing Nikki a bottle of wine. "Corkscrew us in the drawer and glasses are in the cupboard behind you."

As Nikki finished pouring the wine, the timer went off, signaling dinner was ready. They sat down to eat and Nikki started to fill Helen in on some of the not so legal things the inmates did while she was at Larkhall, including when the two Julies got the idea to make their own wine. At first Helen was upset because a lot of the activities happened while she was in charge, but eventually she found it all very funny.

After dinner, they made their way into the lounge. Nikki immediately noticed that a few things had changed.

"What happened in here?" She asked.

"Well, a few years ago, my aunt passed away." Helen started.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Nikki said, sympathetically.

"Don't be. We all were well prepared for it. She had been sick for a while. Anyway she left me a little bit of money. At first I didn't know what I wanted to do with it, but then I remembered how she was always giving me suggestions on how to fix up the house so I used it to remodel a little bit."

"Only a little?" Nikki smiled.

"Yeah. I added the fireplace and decided to buy a new couch."

Because the old couch had very special memories for both Helen and Nikki, Nikki had to find out what happened to it.

"Didn't want the old one around anymore?" Nikki asked, almost sounding hurt.

"No, more remodeling." Helen explained.

Nikki looked confused.

"I had a room upstairs that I never used after Sean moved out. He used it as an office. I never bring enough work home with me to need an office, so when I started remodeling, I took out the wall that separated it from my bedroom to give me some more room." Helen paused for a moment and took a sip of wine. "But, that gave me a little too much room, so I moved the old couch up there and bought this one." She said tapping the arm of the couch.

Nikki had to smile at the thought of that couch being Helen's bedroom. She quickly had to change that thought though because thoughts of her bedroom brought with it other thoughts that might make being alone with Helen quite difficult. Nikki quickly changed the subject.

"Helen, I have been meaning to ask you something."

"What would that be?" Helen asked.

"What's up with the piercing?"

At first Helen looked completely gob-smacked knowing exactly what Nikki was talking about. Eventually she found her voice and started to explain.

"Well I did it my first year at Uni. You should have seen the look on Claire's face when she saw that I had my belly button pierced. She bet me that I wouldn't do it."

"And that stubborn Scottish streak mixed with adolescent rebellion wouldn't let you back down, right?"

"Stubborn Scottish streak?" Helen mocked annoyance, Nikki laughed. "Yeah something like that. But, I don't regret."

"_You shouldn't, you look amazing with it."_ Nikki thought, as she remembered the last time she saw it. _"Watch it Wade, You don't know if you're even allowed to go there yet."_

As Nikki was getting ready to ask the all too important question of Helen's availability, the clock chimed midnight.

"Wow I didn't realize it was so late. I guess I had better get going." Nikki said. As she stood she staggered a little on her feet.

"I guess we've had a little too much to drink." Helen laughed.

"I guess you're right."

"Why don't you stay here?" Helen asked.

At first Nikki didn't know if she would be able to move. She was extremely tense and nervous with that suggestion, not knowing how she should take it.

"I have a spare room still. You can stay there." Helen continued.

"Thanks Helen. I really don't think I should be driving."

With that they made their way up the stairs, said goodnight, and went into their rooms. Nikki silently cursed herself for asking Helen sooner, while Helen cursed herself for offering the guest room. Both women had an extremely difficult time falling asleep that night.

Nikki woke up the next morning and it took her a moment to remember where she was. "_You stayed in Helen's guest room last night."_ She thought to herself. She looked at the clock and realized it was almost ten in the morning. Slowly, she got out of bed and put a robe that had been left in the room.

She made her way downstairs in search of an aspirin and a strong cup of coffee and found a note by the coffee machine with two pills and a glass of water sitting by it. She put the pills in her mouth and took a drink of water. Then, she read the note.

_Nikki_

_Morning sleepyhead. I thought you might need these. Anyway, I had to go into work this morning. Feel free to stay and shower if you want. Towels are in the cupboard in the bathroom. By the way, I never got a chance to tell you last night, but I wrote a book, nothing serious, I was just kind of messing around. Anyway, I finished it and I want you to be the first one to read and tell me what you think. Call me when you're done and let me know what you think._

_Thanks for last night, I had fun,_

_Helen xx_

Nikki looked back at the counter and it was the first time she noticed the stack of bound pages. She felt honored that Helen wanted her to be the first person to read her book. She was also slightly amazed that Helen had written a book.

With the first thoughts aside, Nikki picked up the copy and started to head back upstairs. She put the book back in the guest room and went to take a shower. After showering, she got dressed, left a note for Helen, and made her way back to her flat, knowing that Trisha was going to have a field day as to why she had been out all night.

Helen arrived at the restaurant to meet her sister and as usual she was running late. She had been so caught up in the thought of how far Nikki had gotten in the manuscript that she had lost all track of time. She looked around, immediately noticed her sister sitting in a corner booth, and rushed over.

"Hiya, sorry I'm late."

"That's ok. I knew you would be." She smiled. "So tell me what happened last night."

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about your trip first?" Helen asked, already knowing what the answer would be.

"I spent some time in a hotel room, did a little sightseeing, and bought gifts for friends and family. Happy? Now tell me what happened!" Jen exclaimed in a longwinded sentence.

"So, you have a present for me then?" Helen teased.

"Helen!"

"Ok, but there isn't much to tell really. We talked about a few things, but we never got around to relationships. I think she was going to, but we realized that it was already midnight. I let her stay at my place because we had been drinking."

"So, she spent the night, huh?" Jen asked with a wink.

"In the guest room, Jen." Helen playfully hit her sister's arm. "This morning I left her note because I had to go to work. I also gave her a copy of the book."

"You mean the book that ends with you telling her how you feel?" Jen asked, surprised.

"It was the only way that I could think to tell her that I still want her if she'll have me."

"Yeah, but Helen that could take weeks."

"First, I don't think it will take that long with the way that Nikki reads. Second, if it takes that long, I have waited three years, how hard can a couple more weeks be?"

"Yeah I guess you're right, but the suspense is going to kill me." Jen laughed.

"Now can we order, I'm starving."

Nikki had just arrived at her flat and decided to put the book off until her call to Trisha. She called her, but all she got was the answering machine.

"Hey Trisha, it's me. I told you I would call when I got home and I am. Before you get the wrong idea, I spent the night in the guest room. And no I don't know when I will be seeing her again. Anyway I have to go. I have a few things I have to get done. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

With that she hung up and picked up the copy of the manuscript. All she had to do was open to the first page to figure out what the story would be about. Helen didn't even try to change the names of the characters. _"This got a lot more interesting"_ Nikki thought to herself. She decided to drop everything she was doing for the rest of the day so she could read for as long as possible.

Ever since lunch on Monday, Helen knew that she wouldn't be getting much work done until she had heard from Nikki. She had gotten home Monday night and found Nikki's note lying underneath a single red rose.

_Helen_

_Thanks for the aspirin, it was a life saver. I had a great time last night too. Hope we can do it again soon. I will let you know what I think of the book as soon as I am finished._

_Nikki xx_

That had been three days ago. She had neither heard from nor had the courage to contact Nikki. She was just hoping that she wouldn't have to wait much longer. As much as she didn't want to admit it, this extra waiting time was proving harder than could have ever imagined.

Nikki couldn't believe what she had read so far. She had relived some of the best and worst times of her relationship with Helen, only this time she was able to know how Helen felt about everything. She also had the explanations behind some of Helen's most painful actions.

"_It's over Nikki and I don't even feel sad about it." _

_But that was a lie and she knew it. It hurt her more than she could have told Nikki. That riot had put Nikki in a considerable amount of danger. The only reason Helen ended it was because she thought that if she wasn't involved with Nikki then Nikki wouldn't feel as inclined to risk her freedom to protect Helen, and Helen wouldn't have to consciously worry all the time if Nikki would be ok, even though that would be the only thing she thought about while she wasn't at work._

Nikki had to reread that passage again just to make sure that she had understood what she was reading. _"Well she bloody well could have told me that at the time."_ Nikki thought. She put the book down and walked around her flat for a little while to stretch her legs. The only time she had put the book down so far was to sleep and use the loo. She had even called in sick to the club. As it was the weekdays, Trisha wasn't really upset.

Nikki felt that she owed Helen some kind of an apology. Even though it didn't seem like it at the time, Helen had always been thinking of the both of them whenever she had done something. Nikki had no reason not to believe what she read because she knew that Helen had never really planned to have Nikki be the first to read it.

She sat back down and continued reading. She knew that she would be at it for a few more hours because she was so close to the end and she couldn't put it down now.

After two more hours of reading, Nikki finally reached the scene of her appeal. It was comforting to know that Helen had heard the speech Nikki made on television, and even more so to learn that she knew Nikki was talking about her.

She turned the page, thinking that it would be the end when another note fell from the leaves of the book. Before Nikki continued with the book, she read the note first.

_Nikki_

_This is the only part of the book that is fiction. I wrote it the way I would have wanted it to happen, and still hope it has a chance of ending like this in some way._

_Helen xx_

Now Nikki's interest was thoroughly peeked.

_Helen had only managed to walk about twenty feet away from the club when she decided to go back in and tell Nikki how she really felt. As she turned around she saw Nikki run out of the club and watch a cab drive away. Nikki just stood there, watching it, as her shoulders sank._

"_You looking for someone?" Helen yelled._

"_I thought it was a bit rude not asking you to stay for a drink." Nikki said as she walked towards Helen._

"_Well...I figured if I waited out here long enough..." Helen said, smiling._

"_So...do you want to come back in?"_

"_I could stay for one I suppose." Helen replied._

"_That is unless there's somewhere else you've got to be."_

_Helen had to pause before answered. "Thomas and I split up...I've been such an idiot Nikki!"_

_Fearing for the worst, Nikki looked away. "I know what you're saying."_

"_No...Let me say it!" Helen said, looking into Nikki's eyes. "Thomas is gorgeous, he's everything you would want in a man...but I want a woman."_

_Nikki had tears appearing in her eyes as she struggled to allow what Helen just told her to sink in. "We'll take things slowly."_

_Helen looked up at Nikki with a mischievous smile "Yeah...dead slow."_

_They kissed, slowly at first, but with as much passion as they felt for the other one. Nikki ran __her fingers through Helen's hair and you could almost see emotion leaking out of every part of both of them. The kiss ended. Helen looked around, realizing that she was kissing another woman in the middle of a street in broad daylight. Nikki laughed and pulled her into the doorway of the club and they continued to kiss._

It felt as though Nikki couldn't move fast enough as she finished the book. She looked at the clock before heading out of her flat. It was only four in the afternoon. For some reason she knew that Helen would be getting ready to leave her office. She walked outside, ran to her car and decided to go straight to Helen's flat and wait for her there.

She had only been waiting around twenty minutes when she saw Helen's car pull into the drive way. Without really thinking, she got out of her car and walked as calmly as she could towards Helen.

"Is this true?" She yelled, holding out the manuscript as she walked towards Helen.

Helen turned around and jumped. "Nikki what the ff…You scared the crap out of me."

"Is it true?" Nikki asked again, drawing Helen's attention towards the manuscript.

Helen looked at it and then back to Nikki. "I think we should go inside and talk about this." She said nervously.

Nikki followed Helen into the kitchen and they both sat down at the table.

"Why didn't you tell me any of this?"

"I thought I would be helping you in the long run, but I know that I was wrong for not talking to you about any of it." Helen explained.

"Ok. Then, why didn't you come back into the club that day? Why didn't you tell how you really felt?"

"I was scared."

"Scared of what?"

"That you were back with Trisha and you didn't want me anymore." Helen looked down towards the floor.

"Helen, Trisha hasn't been in my life romantically since your first year at Larkhall, and there hasn't been a day that has gone by since I got out, that I haven't stopped wanting you."

Without Helen realizing it, Nikki had made her way over to Helen's chair.

"I've told you before Helen, you're gorgeous, and I am totally in love with you."

"I love you too, Nikki and I never want to leave you again." Helen said.

"Good, because I won't let you."

Nikki closed her eyes as Helen pulled her closer, and without another word spoken Helen's lips touched Nikki's lips in a tender kiss. They looked to each other with eyes full of passion, Helen's lips parted for Nikki to explore further, they kissed deeply, Helen's hands moving from Nikki's hair and down to her back, her hands lifting up Nikki's shirt and running inside, feeling the muscles, the smoothness and pulling her in as close as she could, feeling her body pressed against her own was sending a surge right through her.

"Maybe we should take this upstairs." Helen suggested as she reluctantly pulled away.

"That is the best suggestion I have heard all day Miss Stewart." Nikki replied.

"Besides, Miss Wade, I think you still have a promise to keep."

"Oh, yeah? Which promise would that be?" Nikki asked even though she already knew the answer.

Helen looked up at her with nothing but love and desire in her eyes. "Make love to me all night long."

"Did I ever tell you I love it when you're bossy?" Nikki smiled as she followed Helen up to the Bedroom.

Nikki woke to find a gorgeous Scot wrapped around her. Helen's head was tucked into her shoulder, her left arm wrapped around Nikki's waist, her left leg trapping Nikki's long legs and her shoulder length hair flared around her face and across Nikki's chest. Nikki gently moved the strands of soft dark blonde hair back behind Helen's ear where they belonged.

"You are beautiful." Nikki said softly as she stroked the hair she had just neatly tidied up. Nikki's eyes took in Helen's face, asleep she looked angelic. Nikki wanted to kiss her, just holding her was a gift but to kiss her was amazing.

"So are you." Helen replied, as she was slowly waking up. "By the way what did you think…"

"About last night?" Nikki teased. "Amazing."

"No." Helen playfully slapped Nikki's arm. "I meant what did you think about the book?"

"It was good, but I think you still have some work to do." Nikki said, trying to remain serious.

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"Well for starters, change the names of the characters. I don't think that you are going to want the whole world to know that you fell in love with one of your inmates."

"I was already going to do that." Helen smiled. "What else?"

"Get it to the publishers as soon as possible." Nikki winked. "Now what do you say we go back to sleep. You kept me awake for far too long."

"I didn't hear you complaining last night." Helen teased, as she snuggled into Nikki's arms. Both women were soon fast asleep, happier than they had been in over three years.

Six months later

"Our phone bills are going through the roof because of this," Nikki laughed to her mobile. "We've spent most of these past two nights on the phone with one another!"

"I don't care but I can't sleep unless I talk to you first," Helen replied with a groan. "Hell, I can't sleep even when I do talk to you," she continued with a chuckle.

"I know what you mean, darling," Nikki smiled as she got into the elevator and pushed the button. "It doesn't feel right when you're not there, snoring next to me!"

"I do not snore!"

"Yes, you do, sweetheart, but it is a very endearing snore."

"I hope other hotel guests aren't as miserable as I am staying in this hotel!"

"I don't think it really has anything to do with the hotel, just with the fact that we haven't seen each other for… let me see… for about 58 hours!"

"My God, that long? No wonder I feel so miserable!"

"Maybe you should think of something to cheer you up," Nikki suggested with a playful tone as she stepped out of the elevator, checking on the signs on the wall in front of her.

"Such as?"

"Well, you know… run yourself a nice bath, order a bottle of bubbly from the room service, relax a bit," as she started walking along the long corridor.

"That would be heavenly if you were here but I don't want to do it on my own! I will never leave home for a three-day conference again. I don't care if my readers expect me to be there or not," Helen complained as she heard a knock at her door. "Hang on, darling, there's someone at the door."

"Have you invited someone over at this hour?" Nikki asked feigning innocence.

"No, of course not, don't be silly," Helen replied as she walked to the door. "It's room… service…," she faltered as she saw the handsome young man, dressed in the company uniform of black trousers and white jacket with golden buttons and epaulettes roll in a trolley with an assortment of fruit and bottle of champagne on ice, accompanied by one red rose, long-stemmed and fragrant.

"Here you are, madam," the young man said with a smile. "Would you like me to open the champagne for you?"

"No, thank you," Helen beamed at him, knowing instantaneously it was from Nikki. The single red rose had become her hallmark signature. "I'll do that myself, thank you very much," she continued with a radiant smile, tipping the man generously.

"Thank you, madam, and have a pleasant evening," the young man replied and left the room. He was smiling broadly as he stuffed the money in his pocket and courteously greeted a tall dark-haired woman walking along the corridor, holding a mobile to her ear. He sure enjoyed working the room service in a classy hotel; the women were beautiful, the tips were great and the look on the woman's face when she had seen the champagne and the fruit had been priceless – he'd have to remember this the next time he took his girlfriend for a weekend in a hotel!

"Sweetheart, you are so amazing," Helen purred to the phone.

"I gather the champagne arrived," Nikki laughed as she continued walking, checking for the numbers on the doors.

"It did, so did the fruit and the rose and there are two champagne glasses and I'm here alone and I miss you so much I'll end up finishing the bottle on my own and that will give me one hell of a hangover in the morning," Helen complained in one breathless sentence.

"You'd really want me to be there, wouldn't you?" Nikki laughed quietly.

"Yes, I would!"

"And what would you do if I were there?"

"Well… you remember our first night together? What we did with the champagne then…?" Helen walked over to the tray and picked up a slice of peach, biting into it with a dreamy expression on her face. "I'd do all that and…," Helen began to explain in no uncertain terms what she wanted to do with her lover. Nikki was happy about not meeting anyone as she walked along the corridor since Helen's explicit ideas made her blush!

"Darling, you are making me blush and getting me totally breathless," she smiled to the phone as she reached the door she had been looking for.

"Am I now?" Helen laughed mischievously.

"Oh, yes, you are! So you'd better open this door before anyone sees me!"

"What?"

"Because if they see me looking like this and talking on the phone they will think… or more accurately know that I'm having phone sex and I don't think a hotel corridor is the right place for doing it," Nikki teased as she heard quick steps from inside the room and the door opened to reveal a totally astonished Helen.

"Nikki! What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't let you sit here all by yourself missing me so much." Nikki teased, as she stepped inside and Helen closed the door. "Besides, I missed you a little too."

"Mmm, only a little?" Helen asked with her eyebrows raised.

"Ok maybe a lot." Nikki could hear music playing in the hotel room and took Helen into the sitting area. "Plus, I had a couple of questions for you."

"Oh, and what would those be?"

"The first is will you dance with me?"

"Do you even need an answer?" Helen replied as she took Nikki wrapped her arms around the smaller woman and started to sway to the music, _"Can't take my eyes off of you."_

As the song ended, Helen looked up to Nikki. "You said you had a couple of questions. What was the second one?"

For the first time since Nikki arrived, she seemed almost nervous. She slowly pulled a small box out of her pocket.

"Helen, will you be mine forever and promise to spend the rest of your life with me?"

"Again, did you even have to ask?"

Nikki put the ring on to Helen's finger and looked deep into her eyes. Not only could she see all the love she felt for this woman reflected in Helen's eyes, but she also saw her future and couldn't be happier with the view.


End file.
